As most of my friends are aware, I have a weird obsession and like for all things Zombie. There is something about them, the idea of a zombie apocalypse, or what I prefer the humor of zombies…assuming they will all break out into dance when you push play on your boombox for “Thriller”. My favorite more recent zombie character is Randall Skeffington, the roommate of the main character Mark, on the Comedy Central cartoon, Ugly Americans. The description of Randall alone in his Biography is hilarious:
Randall Skeffington, Mark’s roommate, “went zombie” in an attempt to win over a cute girl with a short-lived zombie fixation. Now, the unemployed/undead oaf spends his days doing odd jobs to pay the rent. Randall hails from South Jersey, a rabidly anti-zombie community, so he has been forced to hide his condition from his parents (especially his father, who fought in the Human-Zombie Civil War). Due to his zombie-ism, Randall is frequently losing body parts to decay, forcing him to find replacements at local flea markets.
Another great recent ad is for Honda’s Civic…the idea of zombies just surviving along side the living, that idea cracks me up, and if that were to happen you know I would be the first with a zombie friend or two:
And of course one of my favorite movies, My Boyfriends Back, from 1993. To this day I still think one of the best characters is the mother. “I got you a snack honey, it’s in the kitchen.”
And then recently the Center for Disease Control and Prevention decided to be prepared and to inform Americans what they can do to be prepared for a Zombie Apocalypse…below is their article and what to do. I’ve also added this to the list…cost might be a little high, but how epic would it be to own a zombie ready vehicle like this:
Center for Disease Control and Prevention Says:
Better Safe than Sorry
So what do you need to do before zombies…or hurricanes or pandemics for example, actually happen? First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house. This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored). Below are a few items you should include in your kit, for a full list visit the CDC Emergency page.
- Water (1 gallon per person per day)
- Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)
- Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)
- Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)
- Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)
- Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)
- Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)
- First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)
Once you’ve made your emergency kit, you should sit down with your family and come up with anemergency plan. This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your door step. You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake, or other emergency.
Family members meeting by their mailbox. You should pick two meeting places, one close to your home and one farther away.
- Identify the types of emergencies that are possible in your area. Besides a zombie apocalypse, this may include floods, tornadoes, or earthquakes. If you are unsure contact your local Red Cross chapter for more information. Family members meeting by their mailbox. You should pick two meeting places, one close to your home and one farther away
- Pick a meeting place for your family to regroup in case zombies invade your home…or your town evacuates because of a hurricane. Pick one place right outside your home for sudden emergencies and one place outside of your neighborhood in case you are unable to return home right away.
- Identify your emergency contacts. Make a list of local contacts like the police, fire department, and your local zombie response team. Also identify an out-of-state contact that you can call during an emergency to let the rest of your family know you are ok.
- Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.
Never Fear – CDC is Ready
Get a Kit, Make a Plan, Be Prepared
If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work).